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To the girl in the abusive relationship!

Love hurts sometimes, but it shouldn’t kill you!

The butterflies we feel that sometimes makes our stomach hurt when we are in love is one thing but physical pain is not part of love!

From mental abuse to physical abuse you’ve probably indure it all and keep telling yourself he said he was sorry and it’ll get worse before it get better! For some yes, its possible that he’ll change but probably not before he break you down! He’ll take every bit of peace you have! You’ll  be left damaged if your not already damage.

Domestic violence is an epidicment 3 women a day are murdered every day by a current or former male partner, too you that may not sound like a lot until you or one of your love ones are part of the 3.

People die everyday, illness or even wrong place wrong time but I cant help to think about the people who had an opportunity to live and didn’t fight for their life!

So to my sister who is in a abusive relationship, I speak greatness over your life, you are more then enough and there is a true love outside of your pain, rehabilitation and shelter is available. You are a survivor remember the only people here to tell their story are survivors!  We need your bravery!  FIGHT FOR YOUR LIFE!

Save yourself so you can safe others!

R.I.P to my dear friend Angel Irby you will forever be part of my fight!

Get help today

National Domestic Violence Hotline  1-800-799-7233

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30 second Cry

As a mother we don’t get much time to sit in our pain, for the most part we have 3o seconds to cry dry our eyes and act like nothing is wrong!

Uusually my car rides are my crying place, The day we found out my son had brain tumors I let my mom ride in the ambulance with him as he was transported to the nearest childrens hospital, Why? because I knew I would need to go to my crying place! My car that is! I knew I was preparing myself for a long road ahead and I wasn’t going to hold back that ugly cry! So on my way to drive to the childrens hospital I had one good ugly cry, it felt amazing! However during our time in the hospital I didn’t have to much time for an ugly cry so I settled for a few 30 second cry!

Yesterday I was at work somethings hit me hard and because I was at work and needed to shake it off, I took a deep breathe and let my 30 second cry out! It was one of my best ever! The moment I was done I stood up whip my tears still reserving my perfectly beat face, pushed my shoulders back and went about my day!

I text my sister and mother asking them have they ever had a 30 second cry, They both response with “yep”, I thought I was the only one!

Word from the wise its ok to take 30 seconds cry about it and move on!

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Discrimination (Perception vs Reality)

Some may be familiar with my sons heath, he has 2 brain tumors that was removed but is growing. On July 3rd we went to see is radiologist at Christ Hospital in oak lawn.

Not so “Christ” like

Our appointment was at 9:30am I arrive at 9;35 yet I wasn’t seen til 11:30, I was escorted to the back room around 10:10 seen by the nurse and was then told to wait, shortly after Toni and John from patient services stood outside of the room and didn’t have enough courtesy to step inside of the room to address their concerns regarding my insurance. This wasn’t the first time I had been this this doctors office and infact the hospital took extra measures to make sure my insurance would cover all my sons after care. My insurance contracted Advocate to insure my son has the best care. Advocate has a Patient first policy as well as all other hospitals, so when I had to wait over 2 hours before my doctor came in I was a bit annoyed. Espically since I know I was coming to get the bad news that my sons growing.

At one point as toni and john was going back and forth with harassment about my insurance I made a statement that “if I was a white women with a white child I would not be going through this, John looked at toni and said we need to call security. Wow Me calling out your discrimation gives you the right to call security on me. Once security was called and john called his boss keith they all contined to stand outside of the room as if patient privacy wasn’t a thing. My doctor walked up a with a bit frustration in his voice “I’m ready to see him”.

Once  we left the hospital I get a call from Keith, apparently Keith is the director of radiology, However before Keith had called me I had already contacted my insurance company and was waiting for my case manager to return my call. In the mist of my phone call with Keith, my case worker called . I merged the calls I listen to my case worker tell him that in fact my son care was contracted and everything will be covered. Keith continued to be well lets just say this a “racist son of a b****”. I couldn’t believe this man was still harrashing me about this insurance. Here I am a mother trying to deal with the fact that my son will be starting Radiation in a month and I have to deal with Keith and his bullshit! Keith mention that he was investigating the “situation” and he wasn’t purposely trying to have me wait but “HE” needed to get the the bottom of it?

Keith detinely put a bad taste in my mouth, and over the last week multiple people have called me from the hospital to apologize and I was starting to let it go and get over it but yesterday I got another call from keith and another lady from the hospital. I started to describe my situation to the young lady and I stated that I was discrimted agaist and this lady said

” I’m sorry that, that’s your perception”!

Wait wtf your sorry its my perception?  Perception is the closet thing to reality and to be very frank you don’t get an opportunity  to tell me that your discrimation is not my reality.

Basicaly who ever this lady is she got me fucked up.

I made it very clear that they got 24hrs to get the president of the hospital to call me or I’m leaking my recording of discrimation. Oh yea I recored that shit!

Within an hour I receive a call from the VP, right before I was about to make it very clear that I ask for the President she told me that he will be calling as well, Here is the thing I slept on it and even if and when Matt the President at Christ hospital was to call me, I’m not sitting quiet at all!

They got the right one!

Racism and discrimination is not our perception but very much an reality!

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My Mermaid is black as fuck!

For those that have been living under a rock last week Disney annoyed that Halle Bailey would be Ariel in the Live Action movie. If you are unaware of who Halle Bailey is her and her twin sister took YouTube by storm singing covers, then went on tour with Beyoncé, then landed roles in Blackish spinoff Grown-ish with Yara Shahidi and Trevor Jackson. Of course Halle and her twin sister Chloe have landed many other acting roles from The fighting temptation to Joyful Noise.

Halle Bailey is Ariel, In The Little Mermaid child let me just let that hit you.

The Backlash is disguising I’m a true believer that not all white people are racist however there is a bout 50,000 that I can add to the sketchy list of racist who join the facebook group “Christians against the little Mermaid (boycott Halle Bailey)”. I’m going to let that sit in “Christians” Oh boy If Jesus was coming back today hell would be overly packed!

“Everyone knows mermaids are black just like Santa and Jesus” wow some say Tomi Lahren said that some say she didn’t however Jesus being white is easily arguable and to put Jesus in the same category as fictional characters like Santa and The little mermaid is beyond idiotic and disrespectful.

Dear Privilege

Please sit the fuck down and adapt to our beautiful blackness the way we had to adapt to racism and gentrification because we are coming for everything that was taken from us.

Sincerely A Dope Black Queen

P.S The revolution will be televised!

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My Son My Superhero Part 4 (Will radiation give me superpowers?)

So on July 3rd we found out that Nehemiah tumor that was 100% removed was coming back and the one that was 97% removed is growing with in 3 months from surgery. As a parent we never want our children to go through these things and my 12 year old has already been through so much. I can’t even beginning to explain the way my heart hurts.

The Night before our visit with the radiologist I couldn’t sleep, I knew the tumors was growing but I wasn’t for sure at what pace so to learn all the facts and next steps was killing me I was anxious! I set back and I binged watch The village. Oh God, I’m sure that was a bad idea, it was a bit much, troubled war hero’s, pregnant teenagers, and cancer I set myself up! However, the tears that was coming down my face felt personal then it happen my chest started to cave in and I felt it through my back. I couldn’t breathe and the tears wouldn’t stop coming down. I was having a panic attack I knew I had to pull it together!

After we left the doctors appointment Nehemiah was pretty much quiet and he is never quiet , I could see it all over his face he was scared and worried, shit so was I! I remember Nehemiah walking up to his granny and asking will radiation give him superpowers. We laugh and said maybe you’ll have to wait and see!

He have no Idea that he is already a superhero and fighting these tumors is his supernatural power!

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Undefined Relationships “THIS SOME BULLSHIT”

Look I’m sure I’ve cover some of this in my ‘WHAT ARE WE?” blog, but I’m still in this phase of my dating life, Where I find myself always asking where do I fit in this persons life.

STORY TIME.

I remember 10 or 11 years a go I was dating this guy we talked everyday but didn’t get a chance to spend much time together. I was planning this event, it was one of my biggest and he wanted to come yet I was the only one with a car and I didn’t have enough time to go pick him up so he couldn’t make it, That evening he was killed! I still at times battle with the thought of if I would of made time for him I could of saved him. We knew mutual people but they had no Idea we was dating. We was undefined if it wasn’t because of social media I wouldn’t of  known he was killed. I didn’t go to his funeral because  the thought of not being the only one there with an undefined relationship with him was going to hurt so much. Honestly I regret not going but I also fear this happening again.

Could you imagine going to someone your dating funeral and finding out he was married with kids because you was ok with that undefined relationship, I mean I’m sure getting to the bottom of the relationship probably wouldn’t stop you from being the unknowing side chick. However I do think it could give you a clear vision of that persons life after defining the relationship.

Another thing about undefined dating is men still expect so much but women should just go with the flow. We find ourselves stepping out of the “we just chilling” zone far much to often to accommodate the person we are just “chilling” with! Only to find out that all those girlfriend vibes we was throwing out was taken for granted and your precious time was wasted!

Moral of my rant, this some BULLSHIT!

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Las Vegas Market week PT 5 “Be a professional buyer”

Here is the thing when dealing with vendors you need to know how to protect your bottom line and your time. I’m going to give you a few tips about buying at tradeshows. No matter if you are at Magic or WWIN these tips have the same value.

  1. Make appointments. If you walk in a booth that’s super busy don’t wait around ask if you could make an appointment to come back.
  2. Evaluate your orders. Trust me you’ll see the same thing a bunch of times, and if you are new to business please before you place your final order check all your options out.
  3. Don’t leave your credit card number. Handwritten orders are a huge con for most trade shows, please do not leave your CC number unless the product is physically about to be shipped at that moment. Honestly it wont hurt to wait til Friday or Monday.
  4. What’s your price point and order minimum. You should know your market already and your budget so don’t waste your time simply ask what’s your price point. If its not in your market or budget don’t waste your time or the vendors time. Same goes for order minimum. If its out of your budget keep moving!
  5. PLACE THE ORDER. 9 times out of 10 most of product is for fall/winter this August so you are shopping for future products and if you are not sure and on the fence place the order. Trends change so quick and you’ll be so upset that you didn’t place that order.
  6. Don’t take pictures. This a huge no no, before you start taking pictures of products ask, some will say yes others will say no!
  7. Take notes. I remember forgetting little details like release dates or sizes. Since the order form you get will probably be faded and written quickly to the point it looks like crap in ink. I suggest you write your own notes little details. For example ” yellow mules, 3′ heel, 12A size run” that should help you remember.
  8. Follow up. I usually make sure I send all my vendors follow up emails by Monday after the show. It shows that I’m serious and then I’ll make shipments arrangements and give my card number to insure I don’t miss out. Every month send a follow up email regarding upcoming product release.

It’s true as a small boutiques have it a little harder then larger retailers I remember sitting at a table with a sales rep and one of her big clients came in, guess who end up waiting, me! It happens. Don’t get discourage or allow that to stop you from moving forward. One day you’ll be that big client. Follow these tips and you could be walking and talking like a professional buyer. After all that’s exactly what you are.

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Las Vegas Market Week PART 4 “ENJOY THE MAGIC”

Now you should be registered and had enough time to plan your trip to Vegas.

For me MAGIC is my main show that I visit during market week, So I’m going to give you key tips on how to survive  3 or for some 4 days of the best fashion tradeshow ever.

This year is going to be a bit different, usually I map out my trip by traveling to Mandalay Bay and Las vegas convention because magic was held at two locations this year its different. at the end of the last show in February there was mention that all of Magic would be held in one place. I remember sitting on the shuttle from Mandalay Bay to the Convention center when an notification came through my email man I was so excited.

However I do have a few concerns about everything being at one venue. The fear of the convention center being over crowed, as if the long wait at Starbucks doesn’t get annoying. What about over crowed vendor booths, seminars and buses. Yet it still doesn’t take away for better opportunitites to network and learn.

Over the last few years I’ve learned that planning ahead was the only way to get everything done. In July most of my vendors would start

  1. PLAN AHEAD Soon all the seminars, events and full list of vendors will be posted on the site. Take the time to know what’s going on so that you wont miss a beat. Make appointments with vendors you have worked with and would like to work with. Seminars are a must especially if your just learning.
  2. Wake up early. Early bird gets the worm. I am usually up at 6am sometimes I’m able to fake hit the gym, find me coffee and make it to shuttle by 8am.
  3. Know your market. Magic has a total of 12 shows in one, For those new comers I advice you to contact Magic retail engagement team because they will help you navigate the floor and find vendors that appeal to your market.
  4. Network. I usually hit the tradeshow alone and I’m not afraid to look at someone badge and start up a conversation, I’ve made friends in the bathroom, by the magic sign and even in the swag bag line. Pack a bunch of business cards.
  5. Eat. I don’t have to tell you how important taking meal breaks are, when walking the floor you need to make sure take care of yourself. The convention center food is a bit expensive but you can always pack a lunchable or something to save money.
  6. Be cute and comfortable. Magic is like a 9 hour fashion show and yes some people wear high heels (I’m not that person) but trust me if you cover as much tradeshow floor as I have packing heels is the least of my worries. A nice backpack and comfortable shoes is all I need to survive.

Magic is one of the best shows I’ve been to with Opening night parties, cash and carry options, happy hours, swag bag giveaways, celebrity sightings and don’t forget instagrammable moments you’ll be a magic junkie in no time.

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WHAT ARE WE?

I never want to be that typical girl that ask “what are we” months after dating but damn I do need a little clarification on your intentions.

I’ve been doing this dating thing for a while and honestly I’ll never get use to the awkward stage of dating. You know that “just let it flow” stage. I mean its cool to not expect anything and out of know where you in a loving relationship. That Happen to about 0% of people I know in a relationship so you can see why that awkward stage don’t work for me. I’m not a control freak either I just need to know after we pass the intial “what ever happens happen” state of mind that all singles have to not sound so desperate.

What are we-

We’ve been seeing each other for a while and we’ve gotten to know each other really well. I mean really, really well and I yet I’m still scared to pop the question. My curiosity of what we are is solely base on the fact that I don’t want to find my self putting in to much effort giving you wifey vibes and you just want to be friends or not putting in enough effort and you trying to meet my kids. I need to know so I can apply the right amount of drip to this situation.

Someone told me don’t be that girl, I just hate wasting time. Unansweerd questions and 2 people inability to be open and honest about what they expect can lead to a lot of hurt feelings and wasted time.

So sis go for it pop the question WHAT ARE WE?

We’re a little to old to be in questionable situations.

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SUMMER TIME CHI

WoW I’m still on a high from last weekend me and my bestfriend went to the Hyde Park brew fest. Saturday we got rained on, I mean hailed on it was insane we knew their was a possibility to rain, we took that risk anyway. We made up for it on sunday and it was nothing but amazing. DJ Biz Markie took us all the back! Which had me thinking I need to keep these great summer vibes going all summer.

Here is my must go to summer events.

HYDE PARK BREW FEST. June 1 & 2 I know it pass already but next year make sure you are ready to be there because it most def sets the tone for summer. https://hpbrewfest.com/

CHICAGO PRIDE MONTH. Month of June. Chicago pride is everything, this year Chicago has step their game up with “Pride in the Park” with an insane musical line up in Grant Park. You can also enjoy Pride fest in boys town and the pride parade. https://chicagopride.gopride.com/info.cfm

AGORA SNEAKERBALL. June 22nd. Kicks 4 the city hosts its annual Sneakerball which in the pass have been nicked name the “Chicago met gala”. Last year I received an invitation and missed my opportunity to go man I’m praying I get one this year even if its last minute. However regardless I cant wait to the fall to get involved with the organization for its shoe drive. http://www.kicks4thecity.org/

CHOSEN FEW PICINC AND FESTIVAL. July 6th Chicago’s house music is a whole vibe and if you never been to a house music picnic I advise you to go and get your tickets now! http://chosenfewdjs.com/

TASTE OF CHICAGO. July 10th – July 14th Look if you a true Chicagoan you know that the taste is nothing like it use to be but its still on my must do list for the summer even if its a couple hours I still love taking a visit with the family.

SILVERROOM BLOCK PARTY. July 20th After brew fest silveroom block party is a must. I never been and honestly I cant wait to get a taste of another first for me this summer. https://www.silverroomblockparty.com/

COMPLEXCON. July 20th – 21th. Complexcon has took its show on the road from long beach and is coming to Chicago when the news came out last year that they was coming I went insane and the moment tickets went on sale I had my confirmation email 3mins later. I’ll be there Sunday all day cant wait to enjoy it and blog about it. https://www.complexcon.com/

Chicago is full of events in the summer these are just my MUST go to but with all the festivals and parties I’m sure you’ll enjoy your summer after all nothing is like SUMMERTIME CHI!

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Las Vegas Market Week: Part 3 Flight and Hotel

Now that you are all registrerd. its time to book travel.

Do not wait til the last moment all flights is pretty cheap at the moment.

Flights.

American, starting off at $283

United, starting off at $321

Frontier, starting off at $145.

Spirit, starting off at $164

Take a few things into count when you travel like check bags and carry ons, with a price of $283carry on and check bags American is winning in my book.

HOTELS

If you already registred you may have gotten options to book hotels through the shows official hotel site.

Luxor is looking a bit appealing with a rate of $35 -40 a night. 

Even hotels like Aria and The Mirage prices are looking good.

One thing about booking through Magic is there is no down payment til about 30 days from check in date which means you can book and still cancel if you need to.

My absolute favorite place to stay is Bally’s Hotel and Caesar has a Promo going on right now. I suggest Booking now.

Hotel tips.

Every hotel in Vegas has a Resort Fee at just about $35 a day and also require a deposit for accidentals of $100 a night so be prepared for those fees when booking especially if your not booking directly through the hotel.

Location is everything so make sure your at a prime spot to enjoy your evenings.

Don’t pack Light.

Comfortable but fashionable shoes

Swimsuit

Day and evening wear

Still leave room for all of the shopping you’ll do and all of the trade show treats!

Getting around.

Other then Ubering from the airport  to the hotel you can very much map your week out using show shuttles, Las Vegas Monorail  and walking.

Magic, Agenda and WWIN all provide shuttles and its easier to go from one event to the other if you pay attention to the maps.

Las Vegas Monorail is one of my favorite from MGM to SLS it’ll get you to every part of the strip in mintues and a 4 day unlimted pass is $28.80.

Walking, come on who doesn’t love to walk the strip once night time hits its a full show and you can literarily have the best time of your life just walking. Just wear those comfortable shoes.

It’s completely ok to travel alone! Go for it

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I’m not a “PICK ME”

Single life is really getting the best of me.

Bumble, Hinge, Tinder, POF, and all the other bullshit is getting old and my years of single is quickly reaching the double digits. I’m over the small talk and I’m very much over the freaky old men. I’ve dated from my age range to my mothers age range and even gave a few youngins a shot.

Maybe Its me, I’ve been referred to as tough a few times. I’m sure the alpha female act is getting to old. So I’ve tried to drop it in my recent dating endeoavors. I’m allowing a part of me to be seen that past relationships or “situations” didn’t get to see! Like I’m quiet, or should I say less opinionated, I smile more, Like I smile for no reason, No more resting Bitch face over here. I make myself come off a little vulnerable but not weak.

That doesn’t make me a PICK ME girl, I’m understanding that change is healthy for my growth as a women and in order to find a partner. However I don’t seek  attention and my opinion about things doesn’t change just because I’m a round a group of people who has different opinion. I’m still the black feminist that stands up against Domestic violence and our right to be treated fair those things don’t change.

With social media you’ll come across a lot of different opinions about relationships, you can easily spot a “PICK ME” she’s the one who agrees with the stupid post like “women should know that their place is in the kitchen” and here comes pick me “I sure know its my place’ Knowing damn well she can’t cook. That ladies and gentle men is a straight up pick me. Damn “pick me’s” fucking it up for all of us.

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Las Vegas Market Week: Part 2 Get Registered

It’s the end of May which means you have a good 2 months to get yourself together, but don’t worry I’m here to help!

First thing first let’s get you registered, if you are going for the first time here is some steps to take to get you there.

MAGIC LAS VEGAS If you are thinking about opening a online business, brick & mortar or fashion truck. I’ll suggest you get to business. I registered to magic my first time with these three items.

  1. EIN. Simple I went to IRS.GOV and applied for my ein number.
  2. Bank Account. I went and open up a bank account in my business name and ask the banker for an letter of intent to open a business.
  3. Website. I had already start building my website it wasn’t up and running but my domain was set and it was easy to go to the site and get the “Opening soon” message.

For me after I realized what I needed, it was super easy. I promise you I stressed for months, I thought I was defeated! I needed to get into magic to start my business even with a website already in the works I had no product!

Off Price and WWIN. These shows are a little bit easier to get in an once you manage to get everything you need to get into Magic, registering for these two would be a piece of cake.

AGENDA and LIBERTY FAIRS This one is a little bit harder to get in the first time. You must be an establish brand my website had to be up and rolling in order for me to get in. Keep that in mind when trying to register for agenda and if your looking for fast fashion these 2 can wait til your brand and business is more established.

There is really no easy way to register you can probably tag along with a friend as a guest but if your looking to open up a business for yourself go as yourself and get your business name out there.

I hope this helps!

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My son My Superhero Part 3 (lost in the IEP system)

I feel like I’ll never get back to the actual story

So much has been going on, I’ve recently stubble across the term “keppra rage” after trying to figure out what has been causing the rage in my son. He’ll go to school sometimes have a great day but then when easily provoked he would rage. He will become this totally different person when in a room with people he can’t trust or don’t know. Those side effects can come from his medicine which is a generic keppra or just from the simple fact that he doesn’t know where to focus his feelings.

So here is where things get difficult before Nehemiah had brain surgery to remove his tumors he had an IEP for the most part his IEP was for learning disability towards the end of last school year the school he was at added a part in his IEP where he needed to see a social worker 30mins a week. Going into the new school I’ve had arguments with them about what his IEP said regarding his social skills I remember sitting in a meeting and the then assistant principal told me that his IEP is empty and does not refer to his social needs other then 30mins a week with the social worker and they would need to re-evaluate his IEP ! That was in December!

I’ll never forget the call a week before his seizure when they told me my son tried to jump out the second story window at school! They couldn’t tell me why or what happen, I finally was able to pull the principal out a meeting she was in outside of the school, she had me on hold for almost 10mins I’m sure she was trying to get the run down. The moment she got on the phone Ms.Johnson the window only opens 2in it’s no way he can climb out. In case you are wondering did I go off I absolutely did! Next day I looked at that window not only could my son climb up to the window he can climb out of the window.

A week later he had the seizure spent 3 weeks out of school to recover from surgery. I just found out that since he has been back from surgery he has not seen the social worker on a regular schedule basis. When he is upset or irritable they have the social worker come see him but the social worker has not done his minutes with him!

Yesterday the 1st day of Brain tumor awareness I spent the day yelling and screaming at the school district that was trying to get my son kicked out of school. They have not done an FBA which is a functional Behavior assessment, he does not have an behavior plan and they are not following current IEP instructions. The school district ended the meeting because they could not come up with answer to my questions about why these things was not done. The superintendent look me in my face and told me my son does not FIT in that school. A child recovering from brain surgery does not fit in your school?

I was banned from coming up to the school that my son goes to, and although he was told he can return my fight isn’t over. He was lost in the system and I’m not going to let it go.

Follow me on IG @latoya.shantale and start the fight against failed IEP system

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Everyone wants the black girl magic! Drip drip!

I was about to spend my Saturday watching Beyoncé and give you all my opinion about it, then I seen that Moschino drop a school theme make up collection.

Say what? It would be cute if Supa Cent didn’t already have that idea and has broke the internet multiple times selling over a million dollars in Crayon case products. So are we going to do Sephora and Moschino like we did Gucci and H&M? I already have a bone to pick with Sephora for getting rid of BLACK UP.

The Crayon Case Cosmetics

Moschino knows that Crayon case is a brand for the culture so it decided to market not so cultured make up lovers. You know white. However I do believe that Crayon Case will not be stopped and its customers will stay loyal.

Moschino copy cat

I’ve looked through 600+ comments to see if anyone was going to call them out, unless they are immediately deleting comments I’m the only one! Help me drop a little black girl Magic on them. Drip drip!

Our Queen Supa has no where near tapped into her full potential, we need her to continue be a pillar in our culture, a culture so many try to procreate!

Follow crayon case Cosmetic @thecrayoncase and supa cent at @supa_cent

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Black Feminist?

I had a conversation with someone about being black and a feminist. He argued that black people have to much to fight for and feminism is a white woman’s fight!  The fact that most black men who has been and going through their own obbression are blinded by others!

Lets take a moment and break down feminist, from political and social movement’s fighting women rights, fair wages, to receive education, own property, equal rights in marriage and to have maternity leave, legal abortion, and  to protect women from rape and domestic violence. The feminist Movement started in 1848 17 years before slavery ended.

Black feminism argues that black women cannot relate to only being black or being a women. That black women has its own oppressions. Intersectionality is a term coined by black feminist Kimberle Crensha,  it takes, class, gender, race, sexual orientation, and creates this interlocking system of oppression.  

Although Intersectionality was coined by black feminist it doesn’t limit its interlocking system, like Gay black man or Latino women. In an episode of Good trouble on freeform Marianna starts a secret women’s group from her tech job regarding the unfair treatment to women in the office. She decide she wanted to start a spreadsheet adding everyone income, what men made vs the women she soon found out that some white women in her group was getting paid more. When she wanted to add race to the spreadsheet the white women quickly declined. They wanted nothing to do with her fight as a women of color. At some point she convinced them. It took her to break it down to them that all women should be equal especially if we want to break down gender roles we should start with race!

Imagine walking in a room and being passionate but immediate being labeled as an “angry black women”. I fear so much for our black women in any political office because even some black men don’t fight and protect us black women the way we fight and protect our black men!

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Did you really Ghost me?

Why do we ghost people. I mean people just disappear! Went from planning dinner to being ignored! Hell I’ve been on both end of being ghost.

Let me tell you a story or 2

    I remember I was dating this truck driver we went on 2 dates the last time we talked we discussed going on date number 3 as he was on the road driving. Our last talk was at like 10pm and he was driving and it was suppose to be a late night so I finally got settled at 1am after a long night of working and decided to call! Ring, ring, ring nothing I’ve immediately got worried we had went weeks of answering each other calls or returning right back so when I woke up the next morning and realized not only did I not get a phone call back not even a text. So I hit him with the Good Morning text. Hours later nothing, hmmm so I decided to take a look on FB we never was friends but his page was open so you can see if he was posting or if their was any R.I.P  post on his behalf. Nothing, man what could of happened.

Days later still no reply but I did visit his Facebook again and there it was a post about nothing, so it’s safe to say he isn’t dead! 

He isn’t dead?

    Look I know what your thinking Thank God he isn’t dead, but now I have to process being ghost, I’ve done it plenty of times, although I’ve automatically assumed that they know why, like that one time I was dating a “real estate agent”, that’s right the quotation marks means he was full of shit! As a matter of fact he told me he was a physical trainer and real estate agent. First date was cool although I immediately realized that his pictures on tinder was old, he has gained some weight and may have took time off of his physical trainer job! After the first date I continued to talk to him after. I begin to notice he had an odd pattern he was always driving, always. So one day at 12am he was texting me and I remember saying you don’t never go home always driving. His simple response was “well I am Homeless” mind blown I was at almost for words trying to get some sleep for an early day I decided I would just sleep in it, he ask me “anymore questions”  I response with “I got a lot but not tonight”. Woke up not really caring to have answers for my questions I ghosted him! I know I’m a horrible person but Look I was going through so much myself and I felt like he was probably trying to move in and shit. I wasn’t with that so disappeared! Houdini!

Ever been ghosted?